Saturday, December 13, 2003
Nothing...
"Without laughter, there is no hope, and without hope, there is nothing."
Going on today. I mean nothing at all. Mom and Dad went grocery shopping, I did some chores and lined up some projects to do next week. I have chatted with Kathy for a bit, looked at some more product reviews for the digital camera I am going to purchase within the next month, and that is it. Critter (my cat) is not doing well, I think he is dying. I hope he doesn't, he was my best friend through a breakup several years ago, and he is my partner through this difficult time. I am making a supreme effort to look forward (hence the preoccupation with the camera) and not looking back. She knows how to get in touch with me if she needs to, but I truly do not see this ending up as I wish it to. Unless it is to discuss some kind of positive communication, then there is nothing to talk about. I am also wondering if her brother has decided he does not need to pay me for the washer and dryer. there is really nothing legal i can do about them, but I really thought he had more integrity than to just keep them. I mean every time i contacted him about sending me some money, anything, $20 would be of great help right now, he has a reason. the reasons sound reasonable enough, but it has been a month since i last contacted him and still nothing. I dont know if she just told him to keep them, what can i do about it or not but something strange seems to be going on. I never would have thought she could be like that either, but then i thought she loved me enough to not just coldly send me away with even so much as a bit of effort to work out our marriage. i have been wrong before about women and what they truly are capable of, i guess i can be wrong again. i miss her, but that just does not seem to matter anymore. sometimes people just dont know a good thing when they have it or maybe i am not as good a person as i think i am. i dont know. yeah, i do know. i am a pretty good guy and i try my best, but i guess some people just cant see that. who knows anyways. well i am rambling so i will stop.
Going on today. I mean nothing at all. Mom and Dad went grocery shopping, I did some chores and lined up some projects to do next week. I have chatted with Kathy for a bit, looked at some more product reviews for the digital camera I am going to purchase within the next month, and that is it. Critter (my cat) is not doing well, I think he is dying. I hope he doesn't, he was my best friend through a breakup several years ago, and he is my partner through this difficult time. I am making a supreme effort to look forward (hence the preoccupation with the camera) and not looking back. She knows how to get in touch with me if she needs to, but I truly do not see this ending up as I wish it to. Unless it is to discuss some kind of positive communication, then there is nothing to talk about. I am also wondering if her brother has decided he does not need to pay me for the washer and dryer. there is really nothing legal i can do about them, but I really thought he had more integrity than to just keep them. I mean every time i contacted him about sending me some money, anything, $20 would be of great help right now, he has a reason. the reasons sound reasonable enough, but it has been a month since i last contacted him and still nothing. I dont know if she just told him to keep them, what can i do about it or not but something strange seems to be going on. I never would have thought she could be like that either, but then i thought she loved me enough to not just coldly send me away with even so much as a bit of effort to work out our marriage. i have been wrong before about women and what they truly are capable of, i guess i can be wrong again. i miss her, but that just does not seem to matter anymore. sometimes people just dont know a good thing when they have it or maybe i am not as good a person as i think i am. i dont know. yeah, i do know. i am a pretty good guy and i try my best, but i guess some people just cant see that. who knows anyways. well i am rambling so i will stop.
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